About Me (Part 2)

(Source: http://cristinscordato.cmswiki.wikispaces.net/-+About+Me)

Assalamualaikum...

Hari ni nak cerita sikit pasal diri sendiri..

I ni seorang yang panas baran. Cepat marah dan cepat jugak lembut hati untuk memaafkan. Sifat panas baran tu, bukan menuju kepada semua perkara tetapi hanya sebahagian yang memang menjadi pantang dalam kehidupan seharian. Kerana, kadang2, perkara tersebut adalah etika dalam kehidupan seharian.. Tak kan lah pesalah tu xboleh nak pikir sendiri..

Ada cerita pendek untuk section ni.. Benda ni dah lama berlaku.. tapi, tiba2 teringat balik, terasa kelakar sangat.

Satu hari, I jalan2.. Then, ada someone terlanggar I kat kedai makan. Then, apa lagi, toleh kebelakang dan buat muka xpuas hati lah.. Rupa2 nya, seorang kanak2 kecil dengan muka innocent dan insaf tercegat di situ kerana takot dgn I. I tengok dia beberapa minit dan suddenly, baru I tersedar.. Ehh.. Dia ni budak kecil lagi.. Kenapa pulak dah aku buat muka macam tu kat dia?? haha.. I just boleh cakap sory dalam hati kerana memberi jelingan kepada budak lelaki tersebut.. Ini adalah habit yang selalu I praktis di mana jua I berada.. Tapi itulah.., kadang2 bukan nya kita boleh buat macam ni kepada semua orang.. Kesian budak tadi...

(Source: Dude Perfect, Facebook Page, 3 October 2014)

So.. Siapa pernah menjadi mangsa kejadian di atas?? dan siapa juga yang menjadi pemangsa.. Harap2 mangsa dan pemangsa boleh berubah ke arah kebaikan... Itu saja kisah ringkas pada hari ini.. 

Hope u enjoy it .. 

Salam..

F :)

Love Story (Part 3)

Assalamualaikum..

Sambungan dari Part 2..

Usaha untuk melupakan si dia nampak nya tidak berjaya.. So, let me accept him for now..

Herm.. Sebenarnya I bukan nya betul2 pasti yang I suka dia.. Sebab.. Sebelum ni I ada ja suka kat orang lain.. Tapi I sedar..Yang suka kepada orang lain tu, is not really and truly suka.. Just crush.. So.. I pikir that it is normal. I harap this time, it is just only my crush on him.. That's all. Tapi.... kalau it's just a crush, kalau boleh I nak elak from pikir pasal dia. Kalau he is not my jodoh.. Tambah dosa ja pikir sal laki lain dan keSian  kat husband I sebab before I kawin dengan dia, I asyik pikir sal laki lain.. I pon xnak my future husband pikir sal perempuan lain before kawin dengan I.. So, it is to be expected lah yang I pon kena do the same thing. Sebab ibu I cakap, kalau kita nak dapat husband yang baik, kita kena jadi baik dulu.. and the du'a must starts from now.

Tapi.. for now.. as I cannot forget about him.. I start sending him several mesej in wassup. But how do I get his no?? Herm.. that generous fren of mine gave it to me (Farhana).

We just have a casual talk.. and my mood depends on his reply.. Kalau dia reply.. That reply would be a sunshine that bath me the whole day.. Tapi.. kalau dia xreply, the world seems dull to me. So bila I feel sad, I will messaging some of my close frens and tell them how depressed I am. Ofkos they will entertain me.. Normally, when I am depressed, the one who create the jokes in the conversation would not comes from me..but them :)

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Tapi.. sampai sekarang.. I am wondering.. Betul ke jalan yang aku pilih ni? Sometimes, my heart weaver.. I am so scared of him not to be my jodoh.. I dah habis kan masa untuk try to catch his attention. And my mood fluctuate based on his attention. He is the master mind behind of my life. Do I really need to do all this?

I continue praying to My Lord Ya Allah with the same du'a every time I think about him. I use my prayer to make me calm. So, I normally calm because I seek for Allah instead of him.

But as we all know, perempuan akan mempunyai satu kitaran di mana dia di haram kan untuk solat.. Bila datang nya waktu tersebut, I would be so sad. I want to use my prayer to make me calm. But I can't. If I seek for him directly, he wont come to me directly like how Allah did. This is the time that I am in the state of super depression. I know that I can use other method untuk seek for Allah.. I can zikir, I can dengar nasyid and I can du'a. But I miss my prayer so much

:'(

Sepatutnya, masa dapat reply dari dia saying to me untuk berdoa saja, I should asked him to doa for me as well. He can do it 24/7 unlike me ~.~

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Since years ago, telah terlintas di pikiran I untuk berubah.. Berubah macam mana? Berubah ke arah Muslimah yang lebih baik. How? Dengan berubah dari segi pemakaian, iaitu pakai tudung labuh dan seangkatan dengan nyaa. Kenapa I terpikir untuk berubah? 

Ini sebabnya:

In Friday, kadang2 I will pakai jubah untuk ke kelas. So, bila I pakai jubah, I feel so relaxed and safe. Baru I faham kenapa Allah menetapkan aurat kepada perempuan untuk di jaga. Ini adalah kerana, untuk melindungi perempuan itu sendiri kerana Allah care for us. Tapi we are foolish untuk tayang sana sini. Apa lah yang happy sangat bila buat benda tu semua? Buat tambah dosa ja.

Hoho.. I pandai ja cakap.. Tapi I am doing the same damn thing sampai sekarang.. Pakai baju cukup2 kat badan ja.. Walaupun pakai tudung tapi tudung tersebut tidak dilabuhkan. So, bila I pakai baju yg semua cukup2 makan, I really miss the feeling of pakai jubah. Then.. I terpikir.. Maybe, ini masa nya that I should really berubah. Allah dah usik hati I untuk berubah.

But I dont know how.. Baju apa yg di klasifikasi kan sebagai muslimah? I really love fesyen and baju I semua ada trend dia yang tersendiri. So, untuk mencari baju muslimah,banyak yang I x berkenan. Ada banyak baju muslimah yang cantik di jual, tapi.. I was wondering.. Sebenar nya, baju muslimah yang diorang jual tu betul ke muslimah?? Macam lagi attract attention ja. I am no more seeking for attention for other guys. I am tired of guys. Hal si dia yang menyelubungi hati I ni pon, x settel2 lagi.. Tak kan lah nak tambah dengan orang lain pulak.. I tak sanggup.. So, I need to buy baju yang as plain as possible. Tapi I will tell you satu fakta yang agak menyakitkan hati. Sebenarnya, baju muslimah yang betul2 muslimah and plain, lagi mahal harga nya dari baju yang vogue sana sini tu.. I selalu wonder and bengang jugak lah.. Plain je pon (although I am actually really attach to plain clothes rather than the stuffy one).. 

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So, what do you think? Do you think I am changing because of him.. I dont think so.. Because I already pikir sal benda ni dah lama.. Cuma sekarang adalah masa untuk merialisasikan nya. Tapi bilaa tiba masa nak realisasi kan niat dan hasrat, baru I sedar.. I xda pon baju muslimah.. Kena beli nie.. Alamak, duit dah habis shopping barang adik and ayah hari tu. So, I pon tangguh kan hasrat untuk berubah kerana kesempitan wang buat masa ni.

So, sampai sekarang I still x berubah lagi. Still pakai baju cukup2 kat badan.. So, lagi lama I tangguh kan perkara baik ini, lagi jaoh I drifted. I feel selesa sebenarnya pakai pakaian yang sedia ada ni. Bukan nya seksi pon. Just not muslimah enough. So, I am still wondering of nak berubah.. Entah x tawu bila..

Maybe I should set a time limit.. But .. I am wavering.. Kalau boleh, bila berubah nanti, I really hope I tak toleh ke belakang and patah balik dengan pakai pakaian yang cukup2 semula. So, I need to manage my heart to accept it sincerely. This is another of my dilemma for now. I seek for advice from a lot of my fren.. Diaorang memang happy bila dengar I nak berubah. But it is not enough to push me untuk berubah. I Dah cerita kat satu kampung yang I nak berubah, But I still x berubah lagi.. Buat malu ja.. But I xnak guna alasan I berubah kerana malu sebab dah cerita kepada kawan2. So, I am waiting untuk my heart sendiri push my self untuk berubah.

I also cerita kan pasal nak berubah nie kat my mom.. She was so happy. Aritu I x beli ole2 kat dia sebab I dah habis duit kat adik and ayah I. So, She was asking this as hadiah instead of other thing. She said, benda ni buat ibu sangat happy. But I still x berubah till sekarang. Niat dah ada.. So, apa yang I tunggu lagi? I am not sure...

Sampai sini saja Part 3 for now. I dont know bila I will sambung buat lagi.

Hope u will enjoy it !!

Salam~

F :)

Love Story (Part 2)

(Source: http://adaring.com/love-stories-exist)

Assalamualaikum..

I will continue the story from the Part 1..

Nampak nya usaha ke2 untuk melupakan that guy tidak berjaya.. But never mind.. I am a genius.. And good at psychology.. So.. I will use this bakat of mine on myself now.. So.. Cara ke3 untuk melupakan that guy.. is by what?? can u guess??

First.. I add him in the facebook..

The conversation starts with

* The pink box is me :3 (cauz I like pink)

* and let him take the blue box

 so.. conversation kita orang is just as lame and simple as this jaa.. tak reghti lah nak mengorat orang.. herm.. so.. just bole sembang casual macam ni.. nak sembang apa pon xde idea.. so.. this is how the conversation on 20 August end.

So.. cara ke3 nie basically nak make myself rasa bosan terhadap si dia.. iNgat kan boleh lah lupakan dia after conversation lame macam ni.. nampak cam dia malas nak layan jaa.. Tapi.. operasi untuk melupakan si dia nampak nyaa tidak berjaya.. 

So.. kita main dgn psychology lagi.. iaitu.. cara ke 4 kita berterus terang ja.. kalau dia reject, mungkin I can get over with him.. Or kalau dia terima I pon.. I mungkin lost interest with him.. So.. basically, dua2 path macam give more advantage to me.. So.. I should try out this Cara ke 4.

But how do we berterus terang??

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This conversation starts on 20 September.

* Him: Macam mana bole suka? kenal pon tak..

So.. xtau lah nak cakap macam mana.. nie flat rejection or what.. u want me to du'a for it? herm...

Ingat kan bole lupa kan dia.. Tapi.. He didnt give an exact or a definite answer. So.. I have no choice but to follow his advice.. Which is by du'a to Allah S.W.T. This is the Cara ke 5 that I decided on.

Selalu tak dengar cerita pasal orang jadi alim sebab bercinta?? Haha.. I will not use this excuse to get close to My Lord Allah S.W.T.

Since last year (approximately) I memang praktis kan untuk solat di awal waktu.. And amal kan SOlat Duha supaya murah rezeki. So, bila Si Dia asked me to du'a for it, it wont give me a problem cauz I believe that Allah S.W.T. is always there with me and He know what is the best for me..

So, I decide.. My du'a for him will be like:

Bismillah..

Ya Allah, jika dia memang jodoh ku, kau jadikan lah cinta ku terhadap Mu lebih dalam dari kasih ku terhadap si dia..

Tapi.. jika dia bukan jodoh ku.. Kau jaoh kan lah diri ku dari maksiat dan zina.. Kau bahagia kan lah si dia bersama pasangan nya. 

Amin..

This is the best du'a that I can give to him.. and this du'a willl be the best for me as well.

Conclusion:

Usaha sudah.. Du'a sudah.. Tiba masa nya untuk bertawakal pula :D

This part 2 will end here for now.. This is my very first blog.. Sory kalau bahasa lintang pukang.. Cauz it's been a while that I write on such esei or words. Thank you for reading and I hope u enjoy it.. Coming soon is Part 3.. But I am going to be a little bit busy with my FYP. Wish me luck and pray for my success :D

Salam..

F :)

Love Story (Part 1)

(Source: http://adaring.com/love-stories-exist)

Assalamualaikum..

Section ini menceritakan kisah pahit manis dan gelora yang melanda hati seorang gadis remaja.. Ikuti lah kisah ini dan sebarang pendapat boleh dikemukan di ruang yang disediakan :)

Kisah ini bermula pada tahun ini.. beberapa hari sebelum bermula nya the first day of my final sem in degree.

Walaupun i tinggal di Penang, i tak ada ramai sangat kawan di sini. Sebab most of my fren semua tinggal di Selangor. So, ada lah seorang kawan perempuan yang tinggal di Perak. Nama nya Farhana (nama sebenar). So, bila dia ajak lepak ja, i will always go.. Bukan nya ada member lain pon kan.. Dah banyak kali ikot Farhana pergi sana sini and teman dia sana sini.

So, kisah ini bermula apabila teman si Farhana ni ke rumah terbuka member dia sempena Hari Raya Aidil Fitri.. Because member dia laki, so.. dia ajak lah i (perempuan) untuk teman pergi open house. So.. i yg xda kerja ni, ikot jelah.. macam xbiasa.. Sebelum nie pon pernah ja ikot dia pi open house jugakk.

By the way, Farhana is in a different institution from me. So, member dia dari institusi yang sama pon turut menghadir kan diri di rumah terbuka tu. I dont feel kekok at all because this fren of mine, will always take a good care of me so that i will feel comfortable every time i tag along with her.

Kite orang bertolak dengan menaiki 2 buah kenderaan empat tayar (kereta). One for guy and another one for girl. Bila sampai ke destinasi, semua orang keluar dari kereta dan bersalaman dengan tuan rumah. Then, duduk di ruang tamu sementara menunggu makanan di hidang.

That is the first time I saw him.. I didnt take that much of time to realize his existence kat dalam rumah tu. But.. I just ignore it.. 

Then.. kitaorang semua pon balik rumahh after makan kenyang. haha.. Dah habis lahh my Love Story Part 1.. mesti rasa bengang ja sebab cerita nya cuma sampai sini?? :P

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Cerita tak habis lagi lah.. Sebab ada continuation bila sudah balik ke rumah..

Malam pon sudah menjelma..

So, I just doing nothing kat dalam bilik.

Bila we have nothing to do kat dalam bilik, suddenly.. I realize..

Masa pergi ke open house tu.. There is one guy.. yang buat kan I rasa macam curious about him.

So.. sebenarnya.. masa tgh tunggu di dalam rumah open house tersebut, i always perhatikan that one guy.

Based from my observation, I can conclude yang that guy suka makan banyak.. haha.. sebab, mula2 kitaorang di hidangkan dengan ketupat, nasi impit dan rendang. Then, I can see him makan banyak jugakk lah.. Siap tambah2 lagi.. herm.. mungkin duduk kolej lapar, probably.. Itulah yang I pikir.

After dihidangkan dengan jamuan tersebut, kitaorang duduk berehat di ruang tamu dek kekenyangan.. 

Sebab kebosanan melayan kekenyangan masing2, then.. I saw him grab the remote control.. So. they are planning to watch a movie.. So.. bukak lah cerita Anaconda. I dont know how to open the movie cauz kat rumah I xde astro.. So, when they asked me to choose which channel, I just ignore it cauz I dont know how to. Kat rumah I mana lah nak ada astro.. Ibu suruh belajar ja.. Tak payah lah nak tgk TV sangat. So, my parents mmg xletak Astro kat rumah.

He can easily click and play the movie.. So, kita tau lah. Rumah dia ada Astro.

While watching movie, comes the next round punya hidangan, Mee Kuah.. Memang Tuan rumah pandai masak.. Kesemua makanan yang di hidangkan sedap2 belaka >.< But.. I am full due to the first round punya hidangan..

Tapi.. I saw him eating that Mee Kuah easily walaupun kuantiti dalam mangkuk agak banyak.. I just eat half of it and even share it with Farhana.

When I saw him eating that Mee Kuah so easily, dalam hati I, mmg sah this guy mmg suka makan banyak.. haha..

And I saw him looking at me several times, cauz our eyes met. Mungkin sebab I usha dia tanpa sedar.. and he realize it.. then.. dia pun tgk I balik (mungkin sebab curious kenapa I asyik tengok dia ja).. But I dont realize that I actually are only looking at him that whole time.. I just realize it when I came back home and I can tell every movement of him.. So.. Do I really like him? My brain asked my heart.. But ofkos my brain is smarter than that.. 

My brain answer would be like; NO, I DO NOT LIKE HIM.. i probably JUST like his face ONLY.. Ini semua hasutan syaitan.. Syaitan saja ja nak kacau hati I.. Dia saja ja nak sesat kan umat Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. (kuat jugak iman time tu).. So.. I just ignore that feeling..

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Tapi.. I wait and wait but masa berlalu dengan pantas.. I sedar yang I cannot forget about him.. I always thinking of him.. So.. this is not good.. Buat tambah dosa ja asyik dok pikiaq sal laki.. Rugi ja amalan sebelum ni if asyik dok teringat kat laki..Abes pahala jadi negative..

So.. I need to do something to settle down these feeling of mine.

Then.. I tell my frens about these feeling of mine.. Because.. Sebelum ni, I penah ada feeling yg mcm ni.. Then, after I cerita kat kawan2, feeling tu pon ilang.. So.. I choose these method to make my feeling disappear..
But i could not succeed. This is so sad of me.. But could I never give up.. I tried to tell these story to more and more of my frens and asked for their opinion.. By the way, their opinion is not helpful at all and my feeling cannot settle down.. So.. I think that I should stop from using these method =.=
Bukan nyaa official lagi.. tapi abes dah cerita kat satu kampung.. buat malu ja.. haha .. (just kawan yg truely rapat jelahh..)

Disebab kan cara ini tidak berjaya, so I have another method to make my feelings disappear.. It is by telling my fren, Farhana directly the truth. Ingat kan nak cari jalan untuk lupakan these guy.. tapi.. This fren of mine is too excited.. Sampai I terlupa pasal nak forget about this guy.. She show me the picture of him as well as she tell me about him. I just dengar ja. I told Farhana several times: "I dont wanna be a stalker. It is not my profession. I wanna be an Engineer" (-.-") 

But she wont stop cauz she is so happy.. She said that she had a crush on him before.. but now she already hav a bf and I suits him more than the other girl.
She told me about how he like to play badminton.. and he lives in Kedah. He once hospitalized and undergo surgery etc..
So.. As I just heard all of these story and buried it down deep inside my heart.. cauz I have an objective to forget about him ofkoss..

Due to my close relationship with Farhana, I sometimes comment on her post in facebook. Then, one day, coincidentally he commented on the same post as mine.. I was soo shocked but just ignore it..
Then.. a few minutes later, Farhana buzz me and told me to reply anything after him to create a conversation. I told her I dont know how.. and she said.. just like her post then.. I just do what she said -..-
But there is always an interference from the other girl and i just leave them be.. Cauz me and that guy xpernah bersembang pon between each other.. so.. how do i sembang dgn dia.. better i just keep my mouth shut and let them be..
I didnt follow their conversation at all cauz it will only make me sad..

To be continued.. (I am tired) ~.~

Hope u enjoy it ..

Salam...

F :)

About Me (Part 1)

(Source: http://cristinscordato.cmswiki.wikispaces.net/-+About+Me)

Assalamualaikum :D

Hari ni bole cerita a little bit about myself.

(Source: http://leapgraphics.com/its-a-girl/)

For my gender.. It is female. 

I am a family of 4 members including me.. 

1. My mom (dalam Islam pon cakap .. Ibu.. then.. baru ayah.. )

My mom is the dictator in our small kingdom. Me especially selalu got into fight with her.. Apa punya daughter lah.. haha (but it is fun for me and not for her ) :P

2. My ayah.. is the King of my life.. He is a very caring person. 

Nanti i will  make a post about him.. So.. there is nothing to tell you for now..

But my personality resembles him a lot.. We love to play around especially with iBU :-*
kahkahkah...

3. I am a first born, one and only daughter in my family.. Paling manja. Mengada2 and paling hipokrit. haha.. kalau nak kasih sayang lebih, kena lah pandai cari perhatian :P
to one point that my little bro get so jealous of the love that i receive from both my parents.

so.. sebab rasa bersalah, i selalu bawa adik pergi jalan and his word are my command :)

By the way, I am 22 this year (2014).

4. My only little bro.. Not too little.. dia dah umur 18 (2014) tahun lahh. 

Dah besar gedabak dah pon adik aku ni.. tapi.. demand selalu melampaui batas kakak dia..

Banyak dah duit perabih untuk penuhi permintaan dia.. He is my weakness because I once promise my mom that i will repay him with lots of love from the lack of love he receive from ibu and ayah..
so.. now. dia dah terlebih kasih sayang cauz i went to asrama dan kolej.. tinggal dia ja kat rumah dgn ibu ayah.. so.. no more isu kurang kasih sayang from him.

But he is still my weakness. I will try my best to always fulfill his wish due to my habits and promise to my mom in the past walaupun dia dah terlebih kasih sayang sekarang ni

That's it the story of my family for now.. Hope u enjoy it.. 

Salam..

F :)

Asma Amanina

(Source: http://nuazka.deviantart.com)

Assalamualaikum ;) dan Salam Perkenalan

Hari ini, saya (hihihi.. awkward nya guna saya) nak bercerita a little bit about myself.. Uolls can call me Asma Amanina (bukan nama sebenar). This name was given to me by my university's fren cauz they think that it will suit me the best. So, thanz to them :D Bukan nyaa xnak guna nama sebenar.. But one day I will reveal myself when the time comes if needed.

Reasons of why dear me tak nak guna nama sebenar:

1. sebab nak guna this blog as my diary.. so.. kalau korang xkenal aku (uyooh.. guna perkataan aku.. sory lah kalau terasa kasar sedikit) , then, i can tell lot of moments, feeling, story whether it is sad, happy, embarrassing or whatever related :P hehe.. malu lah bila orang tawu rahsia kita.. so.. kita nak simpan rahsia kita as anonymous (it is normal, right?)

2. sebab xnak bagi kawan2 tawu.. haha.. malu sehh ... #blushing

3. sebab nak mintak opinion dari pembaca yang kenal the 'me' from ur reading in my blog.. kawan2 yg kenal pon bagi nasihat yg berguna jugak.. tapi.. saja ja nak tukar suasana ciket..

This is the top 3 reasons..  Therefore, xpayah susah2 nak godam untuk tahu  who am I. If it is really2 necessary for it and u are desperately need to know my true name, then.. you can reach me on this email address : asmaamanina0407@gmail.com

I will consider ur feeling and ur need from our conversation over there.

Last but not least, I really hope u will enjoy the reading of my journey to find my true self to become a better Muslimah Inn Syaa Allah.

Salam.

F :)